Princess' Story

Shifting.

2007-03-20T19:04:00.000+08:00

I have decided to shift. I think. Check here once in awhile and I might have sth here. but till then, i'll be at livejournal. Bye!

A Moment.

2007-03-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

Everyones sounding so emo. Cheer up people. I just wanna get exams over and done with. Hahs. I'm so expected. Can't wait to go UK. I'll bring home soil for everyone for souuvenir. PROMISE! (:

You can request, but no queen, no mr chu, no ice-cream. Maybe I'll bring back the water there. lol (:

Precious Lesson #1

2007-02-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

Learn to shutup. (Talking about myself.)

WTF

2007-02-04T10:57:00.000+08:00

I just posted an entry but my stupid safari just closed on its own. ARGH. Don't wanna blog the same stuff again. PISSED!

Memorable Orientation

2007-01-09T19:17:00.000+08:00

I have a seriously BIG problem. I have tonnes of homework but I'm actually here blogging. I thought I'll just do a little since I have left this place to catch dust for a month already. Time flies. Orientation is like finally over. It is finally over cos I'm seriously lacking sleep. BUT I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I've gotten a really awesome class. Working with Sam-o was fun too. Trust me the first day wasn't so sweet and i definitely was so afraid that I might just screw it up. Thank God I didn't. I think. Let's see. Overall, it's fun beyond words. Tiring as well. Third day was the day I seriously consider skipping. Amazing race didn't sound so amazing but I'm glad it turned out good and everyone enjoyed themselves. At least I choose to believe so.

Jam n Hop was good for most but it just didn't suit me at all. I don't club. Don't even like it. Don't wanna try. Ya, whatever. I might be a loser just because I've never clubbed for all my (almost) 19 years. Still, I see no life in it and I think its a total waste of time. If you ever see me dancing in a club, tell me I'm wasting my time and my life.

The best part of the orientation was the end of it. That's when you'd know if you have succeeded in bringing the OG together. Well, I think I fared well enough since my OG changed our favorite BRRRR! cheer into a cheer to thank us. Sweet. Really. I'm honestly touched.

I think I'll just end here for now. Too much homework to blog details. (:

*hearts to NYX! and my fellow OGLs especially Sam-o!

Till I See You

2006-12-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

Just thought this song was really touching. I love it. Wanted to share but didnt know the title till today. (:

Till I see You - Hillsong United

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see you face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

With all I am I'll live to see your Kingdom come
And in my heart I pray you'd let your will be done
And till I see you face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

I will live to love you
I will live to bring you praise
I will live a child in awe of you

You are the voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper my heart that speaks to me
And till I see you face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless your name

I've Been Led To You

2006-12-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

This is either belated 6 months or advanced 7 months. Just thought this song was really sweet. Love you baby.

Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

2006-11-24T00:33:00.001+08:00

Some photos to share. It was taken on 22/11. Julian's ex-boss' wedding. Hee. My handsome prince.

Parry Gala Dinner.

2006-11-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

Phew. Just got home. I went to the Parry gala dinner. Well. It's basically a dinner to commemorate the memories that everyone shared back in Parry. Let's see. From 6A, Cheng, Xuefang, Peizhen, Jiapei, Isadora, Hongmei, Daniel, Jiawei, Ragen, Qicai and ME. There were many from 6B. Can't name all. Sigh. It was really nice to see everyone back in the place where we grew up. It wasn't some really good primary school in terms of academic, but it was still great. Like what Jiapei said. We were very Kampong.

Today marked the last day of Parry. We are so going to miss it. Just before the dinner ended, we sang the school song. We sang it out loud and proud. Then, it was the national anthem. The last time we are all gonna sing in that school. Many people cried. We didn't. Not because it wasn't dear to us. But more like the physical place being taken away won't erase out fond memories. Never. We will stand tall and proud whenever we talk about Parry. The place where we can just roll around the school field, run around the school, play hopscotch, zero-point, everything. It was the best place ever.

I love you PARRY! YOU ROCK MY WORLD!

Depressing Moments.

2006-11-14T00:05:00.001+08:00

I haven't really been myself these few days. These few days that Julian's not around. It's nice that he is enjoying his holidays with his family in Australia. But here I am, with nothing really that I wanna do. The only 3 things that I really want to do are:

1. Read my thrashy novels.
2. Study
3. Talk to CJ or JY.

Don't get it wrong. I have absolute no intentions to be unfaithful. It's just that they are the ones who have been pretty much up-to-date about Julian. And we are planning for our UK trip. Being able to talk to them takes my mind off missing Julian. Not all the time, but it does to a certain extent.

Well, thank God for a sensible boyfriend who would make the effort to sms me every evening to ask me how I am and everything. But today, I don't know what went wrong with me. I felt myself so cold. So cold towards him. I don't know. I feel really bad. But the pain doesn't go away. If I could turn back time, it wouldn't have been any different. I carry a fear. A fear that is slitting my heart open. There are thoughts that say things would be different when he is back. I really don't understand. I don't expect anyone to understand either.

I was right. I can't survive these 9 days without shedding a single tear. It's only the 3rd day. About 7 more days. I've always known that it is harder to be the one waiting at home, rather than the one being overseas having fun. Just didn't expect it to hurt so bad to know that he is so far away and can't be here to reassure me that everything is okie. Yes, he smses me. But that isn't enough. Sharon demands alot I know. It can't really be helped. At least not to me.

I think I'm a miserable, petty, horrible, stubborn brat. Maybe worse. I don't know. Is there no peace in my heart?

Never mind. Just leave me to cry. Until I'm satisfied and fall asleep or something. Crying it our may help in soothing me.

Netball Craze!

2006-11-16T20:28:00.001+08:00

Mitchell. Hah see I got blog okie? lol. Anyways, got home quite sometime ago from town. Some of us went back to school to play netball today. The girls (other than me) were late so the boys went to play soccer with others. By the time we got to the netball court, they were already soaked with perspiration. In the we only play for less than hour.

I was pretty okie after that. I had to carry lots of stuff cos I just remembered to clear locker. Damn. Quite stupid i think.

We went to the foodcourt at causeway to eat before heading to town to meet mitchell. Since I backed out about watching colic, we went to borders to walk. I bought 2 cliffnotes. Quite satisfied I think. Went taka to get food. There was a fair going on so we went to walk. I bought scrabbles. Yes, my impulsive purchases. Well. (:

By then, I was too tired to walk anymore so I left.

I got home and Grace was running around crazily in her cage and I found her water bottle empty and her wheel was wet with her pee. Bleh. I intended to only clean her cage when Julian is back but oh well. I got her into a cup and placed her in a pail. I really don't know what's wrong with her. She seem scared. She shat alot. Gosh. And her bedding is OMG. Damn wet at the bottom. No wonder she has been so irritated. It stinks. Just for your information. After I put her back in the cleaned cage, she was happily burrowing again. I'm so TIRED. Yawns. But I feel proud of myself. Well, she has to wait for her daddy to come home before someone plays with her.

Oh and my face is slightly burnt! It kinda hurts. Boo! I feeling the heat now. Sigh. I better not fall sick again.

He Is My Constant.

2006-11-13T17:41:00.001+08:00

You are so faithful - Bob Fitts

Like the sun that rises everyday
You are so faithful, Lord You are faithful
Like the rain that You send and every breath that I breathe
You are so faithful, Lord

Like a rose that comes alive every spring
You are so faithful, Lord You are faithful
Like the life that You give to every beat of my heart
You are so faithful, Lord

I see a cross and the price You had to pay
I see the blood that washed my sins away
And in the midst of the storm through the wind and the waves
You're still be faithful, You're still be faithful
And when the stars refuse to shine and time is no more
You're still be faithful, You're still be faithful, Lord

A Part Missing.

2006-11-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

Today is the start of the 8 days countdown. My baby has gone to Perth for holidays with his family. I didn't even send him off. It'd be really weird. So we decided against it. I miss his hugs. His random kisses. His nonsensical rubbish. I miss everything about him. Sigh. And today is only the first day. I miss my baby. ):

Wonder if I can really survive these 8 days without shedding a tear. I know damn sure that when I see him again next sunday, I'll hug him real tight. Don't want to let go. Won't. Until I totally satisfied with the fact that he is finally back.

RAR. Meanwhile I'm just stoning. GOSH.

Sad News

2006-11-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

He just told me that he is coming back one day later than what he told me. I'm totally sad. Sigh.

Nvm.

2 Babies.

2006-11-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

I adopted 2 lovely hamsters today. Bobbie's. We were only gonna borrow it for a few days for our OP. Then Bobbie say he don't want them anymore. Poor hamsters didn't have the wood shavings. They end up soaked with pee and water. Even their food were dirty. Brought the hamsters to see the vet but they were closed. So brought them home for a bathe to try and clean their pee. Went back to the clinic and the doctor was shock to see the egg we left to feed them. Whoops. That was all I could find that the net suggested.

Well. We bought a new cage, a new bottle and seperated them. Female named Grace. Male named Mercy. Haha. Puiser's idea. Everything for those two darlings cost up to $60. Sigh. I guess it's worth it to see them happy in their new homes. ((: Hope I can keep them longer. They are lovely. Like totally. Lol. Oh well. We'll see how.

Will post pictures of them soon. (:

Going Crazy.

2006-10-23T02:31:00.001+08:00

I think I'm nuts. Okie I am. It's 2.20 in the morning and I'm still up. I'm not like slacking away watching anime or playing games. I was doing the presentation for OP. Phew. Spent the whole day figuring out flash and preparing the slides on Powerpoint. I know it's stupid to know how to use Flash and still want to use Powerpoint. I'm just better at Powerpoint, so it'd be faster for me to complete it. When it's like finalised, then I put it in Flash. I think I'll do a good job. (:

To a large extent, the presentation is done. The only part undone is Yanni's. She hasn't sent anything over. Hope everything's okie. And hopefully, she doesn't send too late. Cos I might not be able to complete on time. Sigh. Despite how much better I am with Powerpoint, I'm still slow. I took freaking 6-8 hours to finish the presentation consisting of 4 people's parts. Approximately 2 hours per person? Haha. Maybe I was stoning just now. I'm not surprised. Oh well. Gotta sleep. Waking up to watch SESAME STREET. And I'm having my breakfast delivered personally by a hot guy. Lol. Yes, it's my darling. Jealous? I doubt so. But I know there are people who wish they have someone who cares this much for them. That's why I'm thankful for my baby. ((:

Not Giving Up. (yet)

2006-10-22T18:31:00.001+08:00

I have a really bad feeling that my blog not being up to date is not due to not having enough time but I'm just being plain lazy which is known by all. So much happened. Currently, I'm on the verge of being able to get promoted. Overall for Mid-Course, my grades have gone down except for econs. As for my whole year's results, it's not out yet. Everyone's waiting till 3rd November. People are asking me not to feel bad, that it is possible that I can scrape through cos more than half the cohort failed to meet the criteria. Sigh. I don't really know. but I'm not ready to give up on the fight and PW. No matter how much regret I have for retaking PW, I'll finish it. I'm not gonna be selfish. (:

Special Dedication.

2006-10-22T18:31:00.002+08:00

Anyways, here I am writing a dedication to my class, 05s63, ALL THE BEST FOR A'S. It's like the final lap for you guys, just make a dash and reach for your goals k? No matter how nonsensical some of you are, I know everyone of you is unique and precious, so the end results would be what's best for you. I'm no psychic but I've never stopped believing that good people always get a good ending despite the unstable journey. I'm already missing you guys. SOBS! haha. Let's have chalet every year! Also, outings, dinners, lunchs, house-visitings to collect red and green baos. hahaha. Precious jewels, enjoy your ride. (:

Just A Note.

2006-10-09T14:15:00.001+08:00

YAHOO! Exams finally OVER. Now, all I dread is the taking back results part. I'd rather die. RAR! As for the previous post, it's already settled. So guys, thanks for all your concerns. Heh! There are bound to be conflicts, no matter how similar 2 people are Promise. There're so many stuffs that require my commitment. So sian. Haha. I'm jst lazy la. Honestly, being the board rep is really no fun at all. REALLY. Yawns I want more sleep. zzzz.

Just Leave Me Be.

2006-09-29T20:22:00.001+08:00

I know I have to compromise but don't push me off. I'm just about to fall off because I don't seem have a place in your heart. I just want to sleep through this. But damn hell I can't. I think I'm gonna vent them off by baking cookies. FOR MYSELF. Forget about being part of my life. How can you when so often, you'd break our plans to go out with your friends? I'm not saying that you are never here for me. Neither am i saying that you always break our dates. It's just that I seem to be so important according to what you say but everytime when it's between me and your friends, they seem to have the priority. I'm not saying who should have but don't say this and mean the other.

Don't start saying all the sweet nothings to me. Not when they mean nothing. You've hurt me enough. Not that I haven't hurt you but I've been trying my best not to. Whatever I say to you don't seem to get my message into your head. Maybe there's just no point in trying. I don't know. You've decided to cancel our evening plans after all. Since you want time and space to think. So do I. Don't tell me you don't want this to end. Cos I don't know what to say. It did cross my mind but I'm still drowning in my anger and pain. I need to work off all this before I can think sensibly. Don't say a shit. They don't really mean anything right now.

Standing Still.

2006-09-29T18:43:00.001+08:00

I'm a walking contradiction. It's true. Even Yi-Bin says so. She's definitely not the first as well. Julian just left my house to go for his training at MacRitchie Reservoir. We made plans for the evening already, he'd bring dinner for me, den we'll bake cookies and I'll study after that. Just when we were done, a phone call came. His best friend. I totally have no objections. He called to ask Julian out tonight. I have no objections about them going out either. What I can't stand is 2 things. 1, they love to make last minute decisions of going out. That would've been fine if there isn't the 2nd thing that I can't stand. That'd be that Julian will have a want to go. I don't blame him but how does it feel to have your plans settled with someone and then a phone call comes and you see that the person doesn't have his whole heart in going ahead with the plan. What am I suppose to say? Really.

Just in case, if you still don't understand, I'll draw the big picture. Plans are already made by both of us, to spend it together. Then, a phone call comes and ya, he did not give any definite answer and promised to get back to his friend. After he hung up the phone, he kept quiet. So I asked about what his friend wants. He told me about it and asked me how. To me, he could've said "no" the moment he got the phone call if he really wanted to stay with me BUT he had to seek my view. I simply asked a question that will lead to an answer I've already expected. I asked if a part of him wants to go and he said "yes" and he tried to explain that he wanted to stay as well. I don't know. I feel that it is not necessary to ask me when you know that I don't know how to ask you to stay. You know that I want you here, yet you have to ask me to tell you what to do. I always feel the obligation to say "just go lo". You'll tell me that I can always say that but how am I suppose to when you staying in the end is not something you want wholeheartedly? I'd rather you go while I stay at home and let my heart ache. I'm not asking for sympathy. I don't need it. I just want you to realise that I'm not being selfish to want you to stay because you made the plans with me first before you received that bloody phonecall. And it's not the first time. If they planned this like a few days back, I would've have say okie without obligation. Cos I know you need your space, your friends. But how do you want me to reply to a last minute change?

Don't blame me for wanting to not need you. How can I let myself need you when anytime you might just want to spend time with your friends instead of me? Right when I need you most. I don't know. I think it's just me to want you to choose what you really want and not because you pity me that's why I get frustrated whenever only after you know what happened then you confirm that you're not going out with your friends. Don't tell me that you really love me when you can't even decide where to draw the line between wanting me and wanting your friends. I'm not asking you to choose only me or only friends but in some cases, you ought to be more decisive and draw the line. I don't need just your endless verbal assurance. I need to see action. How can I be sure that you'll really be here for me? Your friends might just call and you'll just have a change of plans to go out with your friends. Let me remind you. I don't know how to say "no" to you. I don't want you to feel confined. Maybe you are already feeling it, then I'm sorry. But this is how I feel.

Let's just say it's not your friends but your best friends. I apologise if I can't give you as much space as Nancy gives CJ. I'm just not her. At the same time, you don't give me as many choices as CJ gives Nancy. I apologise for not being understanding enough about the fact that JY is leaving but his departure is beyond me. I'm sorry I can't be the great girlfriend who'd let you walk in and out of the door as you please without giving you cold shoulders. I'm not some spineless person who won't put up a fight. As much as I can, I try not to cos it hurts to see the pain in your eyes. But I'm not doing justice to myself. Not when you don't seem to get what I mean after I tell you straight in your face.

You can tell me that it's your own problem that you're "at odds with yourself" and that you don't need to take a step back in this relationship to think it through but in the mean time, what am I suppose to do? I can't just sit here and stone while you think about what you really want. Life goes on. You tell me you're "damn sure that you love me" and that this is "one thing that you know for sure" but I'm sorry to say I don't see it that way. To me, you seem unsure about what to do about me. You don't seem to know what you want, whether you even want me or not. At the rate things are going, it's not helping that I'm having exams. Stop telling me that you'll be here for me because you want me to know that I'm not alone. I don't know how to believe you when right now, in the middle of exams, you seem to want to spend time with your friends instead. So much for wanting to be here for me.

You might feel insulted after reading everything. That doesn't mean I'm enjoying it. You don't know how my world is crumbling inside but I won't cry because life goes on. You can move on. So can I. I don't want to be dependent on someone who might decide to want to be with his friends instead of being here for me. Yes, you can say that you'll stay if I really need you but I don't want sympathy. I don't want you to stay because I need you. I want you to stay because you need me and that you really want to stay. Enough said.

A Revelation.

2006-09-28T20:06:00.000+08:00

I know I shouldn't be doing this but I was thinking about this on my way home. For girls, most of you would agree that guys love to make promises they can't keep. They tell you that they'll love you forever but they always break it. That's why girls become cynical. I guess that is alright. However, here's my revelation, they don't usually think far ahead. To them, they didn't think that they wouldn't be able to keep the promise, thus the promise made. So, sometimes, let's just not get so doubtful and just enjoy the moment. We girls often hold on to all that but we must realize that most guys do mean it when they are making the promise so we should give them some credits in that case. As for Julian, I don't really dare to say. But he is pretty much grown up and he SHOULD have some plans for his future. I do feel secure around him, so I guess I won't have to worry too much for now and just live the moments. (:

<3 my darling baby. (:

STHU! (Shut The Hell Up)

2006-09-27T19:09:00.000+08:00

NS is such a bitch. So sue me. Julian is supposed to have dinner with me and for whatever reason, he had to go for etiquette lesson and now, he has briefing at 8. Damn. And tomorrow, he has field training for the whole of tomorrow! BITCH. Whatever la. It's not my fault that my headache is killing me. Yes, it hurts and I'm about to scream every living thing deaf. RAR! Screw EXAMS as well. I'm just terrorized. Period.

Two Steps Behind

2006-09-27T12:57:00.000+08:00

This is the Juliano kind of song. But I heard it yesterday when Julian brought me to this place called "timbre" cos his friend was performing. Well I didn't really like his friend's performance cos it's not my type of music and I was on pills. His music only made my head swell in pain. Oh well. We got there early and there was this guy performing. I thought he was really good. He's got abit of John Mayer, a bit of Edwin. I melted when he sang Iris. Awwww. Damn nice. haha. He sang Two Steps Behind. He was really good. Thought that he should invest in a better guitar than the one he was using. haha. Well, everyone at our table agreed that he's better than any of the idols. really. satisfaction guaranteed.

http://download.yousendit.com/B88DCBAF60E50418- Click to download the song.

Two Steps Behind - Def Leppard
Walk away if you want to.
Its ok, if you need to.
Well, you can run, but you can never hide
From the shadow thats creepin up beside you.

And, theres a magic runnin through your soul,
But you cant have it all.
(whatever you do)
Well, I'll be two steps behind you
(wherever you go)
And I'll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around and I'll be two steps behind.

Yeah, yeah.
Take the time to think about it.
Just walk the line, you know you just can't fight it
And take a look around, you'll see what you can't find,
Like the fire thats burnin' up inside me.

Yeah, yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, baby.
Two steps behind
Oh, sugar,
Two steps behind.

A Little Peek.

2006-09-27T12:35:00.000+08:00

I know. I haven't updated for like so LONG. I didn't think that anyone's really interested to come here anyway. Exams are like in 2 days time and I'm not prepared. I'll say I need more time but then again, time's never enough. Hehs. Oh well. Life's been pretty okie. Other than my sis and her boyfriend being the jerks, life has been good. On most of my weekends, I'm fed with good food so, why would I complain? I'm loving it instead. lol.

Oh well, last thursday was 4 months. Julian bought me roses. So sweet. I totally didn't think of it. Didn't think that he'd remember. (: Yesterday, he told me "I love you" in German. How thoughtful. Haha. He knows that my current craze is Germany on the whole so he went and find it. I thought it was so i-son't-know-how-to-describe. Haha. What can I say? "ai shiteru" (: (: (:

Exams exams EXAMS! Rar!

The only incentive during this period is having my darling around. *smooches. hehs.

Okie la. I'll really update after EXAMS! I wanna get PROMOTED! RAR haha.